Bah humbug

Each and every year I take on the exhausting role of organizing the office Secret Santa. This being my sixth and hopefully final year at this crazy place I decided to do it one last time.

My work does Secret Santa a little bit different from the norm, because we do little gifts over a 3 week period. This could mean you get a small gift every other day, or two times a week, it is really up to the individual.

As the organizer of this lovely event I often get some very interesting comments. Below are some of my favorites from this year.

“I haven’t gotten enough gifts from my Secret Santa, I need a gift every day”

“I am not doing this next year because I hated everything I got”

“Who ever has me is cheap, all my gifts look like they are from the dollar store”

“Will you send an email to whoever has me and tell them to stop giving me gifts. I am throwing them all in the garbage anyway”

“I have gotten food every day from my Secret Santa, what do they think I am, a fat pig?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but can we have someone else organize Secret Santa next year?”

“When does this end, I am sick of giving gifts”

“If I sign up to participate in this can I just get gifts instead of giving them?”

Giving In

Since my recent cubical situation seems to be a never ending madness that will likely go on forever.....I have decided to take the higher road.

I know what your thinking..."Tristan, you are such an amazing person. Humble and caring enough to except everyone for who they are."

THANKS!!! I KNOW!

Anyhow, I have dedicated my day to getting caught up in my cubie mates madness, and I am totally enjoying myself. I found it easier for me to just respond with outrageous comments then to ignore her, and she seems very satisfied with my responses.

Take for example this conversation:

Crazy Cubie Mate: "I am such a good cat mommy"

Tristan: "Why?"

Crazy Cubie Mate: "I read to my cat every night from her favorite books. I think it is just as important for my cat to be educated as it is for me"

Tristan: "Oh my gosh. It is so wonderful to see someone taking such an active role in their cats life. You really are a great cat mom"

Victim

We all have days where it feels as if the whole world is fighting against us. I know a girl who has these types of days every day. She is constantly complaining about the drama in her life, and she makes sure everyone hears about how everyone is out to get her. Here are a few choice quotes from her.

“The dental professor flunked me, he obviously is grading me on the fact that I am bisexual, everyone accepts the homosexuals, but no body will accept the fact that I like both men and women” (lets not take into consideration the fact that you missed class every other week, failed to do the dental practical, oh yea and you told the professor that he shouldn't’t be teaching)

“I am bipolar and manic depressive! That’s right, I am so mentally screwed up there is no medication out there for me” (she screams this in the middle of class for no apparent reason)

“I just can’t do it, OK! You can’t expect me to be able to draw blood from this dog” (wait a second…did you just say that in your animal nursing class?)

“I don’t get enough experience at this school, how can you expect me to know how to draw blood when I never get the chance” (she said this the day after she said the quote above. Ironic isn’t it)

“You have no idea what I am going through! I am a poor college student, who can barely afford to put gas in my car! Give me a break!” (She said this to the entire class of poor college students, after she didn’t show up for her scheduled surgery day. Yes you are completely right…none of us have any idea what you are going through)