New Cubical Mate

I spend 8 hours of my day in a 5x5 foot cubical, and I am surrounded by 5 other cubicles, one of which is within 2 feet of mine. I used to have the perfect Cubiemate. She was quiet and kept to herself. Sometimes we would go hours without talking to each other!!! Those were the good old days, when I could come into work do my own thing without anyone bugging me, and then go home. Let me give you a run down of how my day goes now.

8:00am-
Cubiemate: “HELLO!!! GOOD MORNING!!!!” (She yells as I sit down)

8:05am-
Cubiemate: “So last night I………………”(as she goes over in great detail what her and her cat spent the evening doing, this usually goes on until around 8:20am)

8:20am-12:00pm
Cubiemate makes constant random comments about what she is doing…if she laughs she will do it soooooo loud, and if I don’t ask her what is funny she will laugh again even louder….if she sighs, she will sigh over and over until I ask her what is wrong….even as I am writing this, she is literally making comments to me! My back is turned…I am typing, and she is commenting! I think she just said something about being the “devils advocate”. What the hell is she talking about, I don’t even engage in the conversation, I don’t even comment back to her, I thought this might help her SHUTUP, but she continues to talk.

12:00pm-1:00pm
I finally get some silence. This is her lunch hour, and I purposefully take my lunch hour right when she gets back…this gives me 2 hours of quiet.

2:00pm-4:30pm
Cubiemate- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!!!!
Cubiemate- sends me an email with pictures of plants that have been warped to look like male body parts….on my office email......and she forwads it to the supervisor too!


Where did she come from? I don’t understand how someone can think their life is so interesting! How can someone be so blatantly idiotic! How is it that she missed the basic fundamentals of human interaction?