This weekend my better half and I got to see our favorite comedian Jim Gaffigan. It was held at the Paramount in Seattle, in my opinion the best place to see any type of show.
I want to recap some of Jim’s jokes, because I found them to be so true to life, and so hilarious I couldn’t control the tears that ran down my cheeks!
“Have you ever woken up and realized you still have time to sleep? It is like finding a thousand dollars!”
“Hot Pockets take 2 minutes to cook, and that is exactly how long they will stay in your system. They should call them diarrhea Pockets”
"There's always two Hot Pockets in every box, you know one for you to eat and regret and the other one to have in your freezer until you move. Or I guess you could use it as a measuring stick for how drunk you got. 'Yeah, I'm not going to eat that. Guess I'm OK to drive,'"
"I am healthy…because I am a vegetarian. I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'"
“"I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial?”
So funny! I would recommend him to anyone and everyone that wants a good laugh.
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2 comments:
Thanks for sharing the fun! I am glad I got to laugh before I go and sit this exam!!!
okay the movie one had me laughing because I totally feel that way every time I go to the movies...it's almost a compulsion! I try not to say anything and it hurts!
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